State of Intimacy
2026
Arya's annual deep dive into the American bedroom.
Insights from over 300,000 Arya users in one of the largest scale studies of couples' sexual and emotional wellness, including research conducted at the University of Washington with approval from their Institutional Review Board (IRB).
State of Intimacy 2025
aRE we in an era of sexual recessions?
In Short: Not necessarily.
However, Intimacy is not a constant; it responds to culture, stress, and season. The data tells a story of a return to basics.
Yes, 20.4M Americans are in what is classified as a “sexless marriage”, and Gen Z are reporting having less and less sex compared to previous generations.
While statistics show that sexual frequency is declining, in 2025 the story was about recalibration. Research showed pivot toward intimacy that feels grounding, not overwhelming.
The Connection Economy
is on the rise
15% of Arya’s users are Gen Z and 60% are Millennials, meaning more than three quarters of Arya's users are digital natives. The online generations are choosing tools that lead to real-world presence rather than more scrolling. They want to feel more in control of the experiences they are choosing for themselves.
In 2025, couples prioritized their emotional connection over outcome-focused sex
Erotic Personas (a classification developed by Arya relationship experts) aren't fixed identities; they reflect how desire shifts over time. In 2025, there was a move away from goal-oriented, outcome-focused sex (The Director) toward emotionally attuned, communicative intimacy (The Romantic).
The Pivot to presence
Shift in Erotic Personas (2024 vs. 2025).
To find out your Erotic persona fill out this quiz.
A shift towards closeness
71% of couples prioritize feeling closer and breaking routine than being adventurous.
Compared to 2024, members' top motivations are no longer about getting kinky or pushing limits. Couples sought shared moments and stability during 2025 political and economic turmoil. We saw a 13% increase in couples wanting to have more fun or get closer with their partner and an 11% drop couples wanting to explore kink.
2025: the year of Looking up and going down
Couples were looking to explore oral play across all ages, all states, and all relationship lengths, shifting away from 2024 performance-driven sex and attraction to more Taboo acts.
Why Oral
Why Now
Pop culture moments across Heated Rivalry, Sinners, Babygirl, and The Girlfriend. We can’t yet tell whether these references drove the conversation or simply reflected it.
A form of intimacy that feels low-pressure, mutual, and connective.
Decouples pleasure from penetration and performance.
Offers novelty within familiarity.
Couples are choosing forms of love that lower pressure and make it easier to feel successful together.
You’re 3 times more likely to explore power play in your 1st year of the relationship!
Couples were looking to explore oral play and playfulness across all ages, all states, all relationship lengths. Shifting away from taboo or performance-driven sex in 2024.
Years Together:
0-1
Early power play
3× more likely to explore bondage & power dynamics.
Years Together:
1-5
Boundary exploration
Biggest mix of bondage + pain + sensory play, meaning people test out a broader mix of what they like in the "honeymoon years" of their relationship
Years Together:
6-10
Playfulness returns
Strongest spike in asking for playfulness and themes of reconnection. Couples wanted more fun and laughter over the extremes.
Years Together:
10-20
Romance comeback
While erotic kissing increased amongst all other couples, it still ranked higher for this relationship length.
Years Together:
20+
Slow Intimacy
Massage and sensory play dominate in couples that are have been together for more than 20 years.
MARCH IS COMING
The Post-Holiday Breakup Effect
Research shows break-ups and divorce filings spike to their highest points in the weeks after Valentine’s Day. Investing in connection during the holidays is a strategic move (whether consciously or unconsciously) to steady the relationship before this "post-holiday" breakup season..
Big Romance during the Holidays
From Thanksgiving through Valentine’s Day, relationships enter a high-pressure season. Arya sign-ups surge by 50%, with a 10% increase in users seeking emotional closeness and a 10% decrease in those seeking kink.
This shift also shows up in how couples describe their needs. Novelty-driven intentions fade, replaced by language about passion, uncertainty, and wanting help finding their way back to each other.
NEW YEAR'S GOALS - BETTER ME, AND US.
Members turn to Arya to overcome embarrassment and awkwardness. Sign-ups during the holidays were often given as a holiday gift, but the framing was not only to one's partner but to oneself and for them as a couple.
"I'd really like to improve our connection. I hope this can help. Love you."
"Merry Christmas , sexy! Hopefully this will help us be closer."
"I can’t wait to check this out with you and get even closer to you in the process!!" 
What people wrote to their partners when inviting them to try Arya (quotes edited for privacy; tone preserved).
Seasonal pressure acts like a mirror. For some couples, it reinforces what is working. For others, it exposes what feels fragile. What our data shows is consistent: when intimacy is put under strain, most couples do not reach for extremes. They reach for reassurance, repair, and reconnection.
NEW YEAR'S GOALS - BETTER ME, AND US.
Sign-ups during the holidays were often given as a holiday gift, but the framing was not only to one's partner, but to oneself and for them as a couple
"Merry Christmas, Sexy! Hopfuelly this will help us be closer."
"I'd really like to improve our connection. I hope this can help"
"Happy New Year, my love! can’t wait to check this out with you and get even closer to you in the process!!!"
What people wrote to their partners when inviting them to try Arya (quotes edited for privacy; tone preserved).
What people wrote to their partners when inviting them to try Arya (quotes edited for privacy; tone preserved).
Seasonal pressure acts like a mirror. For some couples, it reinforces what is working. For others, it exposes what feels fragile. What our data shows is consistent: when intimacy is put under strain, most couples do not reach for extremes. They reach for reassurance, repair, and reconnection.
Couple's share of workload initiaitng intimacy
Pleasure drops when only one partner initiates
Findings from Arya’s IRB-approved research point to emotional labor as one of the strongest factors shaping sexual and relationship satisfaction.
When one partner–usually women– carries most of the responsibility for initiating intimacy, managing emotions, or guiding exploration, pleasure and connection tend to stall. When that work is shared or offloaded to a third-party satisfaction rises.
Across the study, reducing this invisible workload was associated with meaningful gains in closeness and sexual fulfillment especially for women.
ADDITIONAL BARRIERS TO CLOSENSESS
I want affection and flirting without it needing to lead somewhere. My partner tends to see intimacy as a straight line, and that’s where we get stuck.
I want to fix this, but I feel like I might be left to work it out by myself.
— Woman, 25, Atlanta, GA
I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make her comfortable with exploring sex with me... but I sense resistance..
— Man, 40, Seattle, WA
40% Reported increased closeness and sexual satisfaction after chatting with an intimacy conceirge.
Arya's IRB approved study, conducted by the University of Washington, found that the more features and tools partners used with Arya (such as music and saying the right thing) the more satisfied they were when experiencing intimacy with their partners.
Conversation Prompts
How to talk about desires and needs before, during, or after sex.
Video Explainers
Entertaining and educational videos featuring experts and real couples.
Text Guidance and Articles
Bite-sized chapters and longer articles introducing users to play styles as well as other interesting information about eroticism and intimacy.
Curated Playlists
Customized playlist to set the mood of a couple's play.
Concierge
The use of experts to guide and mediate between couple's desires through chat.
TOP 5 FEATURES WHO HELPED INCREASE CLOSENESS AND SATISFACTION
Increase (%) within 30 days
Emotional closeness
Sexual satisfaction
Couples who ‘shake things up’ report greater closeness
While it might not be at the top of couples’ lists for 2025, sexual and romantic novelty still matter.
In a recent Arya study, 61% of partners who started out feeling emotionally distant increased their closeness through a guided novel experience.
Women's sexual satisfaction saw a relative increase 2x that of men (who also reported increases in sexual satisfaction).
Men’s Newest Turn-On: Her Turn-On
For many men in the study, learning techniques to enhance their female partner’s pleasure was considered a form of exploration and novelty in itself. It wasn’t framed as “more intensity,” but as deeper attunement to their partner’s experience.
This pattern, together with our earlier finding that women’s relationship satisfaction increases when the work feels shared, may also show up in who initiates an Arya membership. In 2024, 60% of sign-ups were women who joined first (before inviting their partner). In 2025, the share of men increased from 40% to 45%
Unexpected “Kink-Friendly” States
States that show a higher rate per-capita of seeking "hardcore" and/or advanced kinky play styles:
Kansas, South Dakota, Oklahoma, Utah, Indiana, Delaware, Alaska, Oregon, and Hawaii.
© Arya FYI Inc.
Closing note
Relationship science is not about prescribing a single right way to love or desire. It is about listening at scale, translating patterns into insight, and designing support that helps couples invest in each other with confidence.
The Future of Intimacy
By combining The State of Intimacy Report exists to make that picture visible. Not to define what intimacy should be, but to reflect how couples are adapting, reconnecting, and growing together in real time.
Looking ahead with care and curiosity,
Nicholas Velotta
Head of Research, Arya
This report is based on insights from over 300,000 respondents, making it one of the largest studies on couples' sexual and emotional wellness.. Our diverse sample includes individuals across the gender spectrum, with 10% of respondents identifying as LGBTQIA+, ensuring a broader range of relationship and sexual experiences. Participants span from newly formed couples to those celebrating decades together, giving us a rich understanding of intimacy at various stages of life.
A note about our data
Data Collection Methods
Commitment to Privacy and Ethics
Our data was collected through a combination of detailed questionnaires about sexual preferences and communication, ongoing feedback from users as they explored Arya’s tools, and one-on-one interviews with some participants to better understand their personal stories and challenges. This year’s report also includes findings from an IRB-approved study conducted in partnership with the University of Washington.
At Arya, we are committed to maintaining the highest standards of privacy and ethical data collection. All data in this report has been anonymized to protect individual identities, ensuring confidentiality. Participants provided informed consent, understanding the scope and purpose of the data collection. We’ve taken extensive measures to safeguard user information, maintaining strict data security protocols to prevent breaches.
This report was authored by Nicholas Velotta, Head of Relationship Research at Arya, in collaboration with Yaara Tsory, Head of Marketing at Arya. For questions regarding our data or findings, please contact yaara@arya.fyi.
Author and Contact Information
